Lately, Singing has been useful for me at night. The pain at night makes me feel a bit desperate. I don't want to be too much of a wimp, for I don't want to move to ever more powerful meds too quickly. And I would like to maintain a sense of awareness and understanding of what is going on. 

So, David indulges me, we pray, singing the simple chants that we've learned over the years. The other night "take me, take me as I am" was a wonderful, meaningful statement. I believe that David was not freaked out by it; he just sang with me, understanding what I needed to say. I am amazed by David's capacity to do this special and intimate work with me. 

I am grateful for the guidance and gifts of listening of my ministers. Their presence reminds me, time and again and again, that I am not alone.

We sing, "Take me, oh take me as I am. Summon out what I shall be. Set a seal upon my heart, and live in me".  This is where I am. I am not bítter or upset. I am surrendering my life, thankfully asking to be "dismissed" to another level of work.


The medications, and hopefully the radiation session last week will continue to reduce the pain, helping me to "summon out what I shall be".


 Prayerfully, we continue our way to Santiago, and we will see you on the way. Lots of good singing on the way to Santiago!

A hugging shawl ... What a novel idea!

My friend Katharine is a woman with amazing talents. Recently retired as a minister, she has continued to embrace her role as a spiritual care provider with enthusiasm and compassion. Two days ago, I became once again a beneficiary of her loving work.


My friend is a great knitter who has survived many a meeting with the help of her yarn and her needles. For some time now, Katharine has been active in the prayer shawl movements sponsored by several churches in Kitchener-Waterloo. These groups create knitted prayer shawls which are given to hospital patients, or nursing home residents, as symbolic reminders that they are not alone. The groups' activities are not limited to the technical work of knitting. Prayer and a spiritual component is also involved, and the knitters see themselves as both givers and receivers in this cycle of love and care.


Knowing that my back bones and ribs are very painful right now, Katharine rightly deduced that hugging would be extremely painful. And yet we all want to hug and to be hugged, as expressions of love and caring. My friend came up with the brilliant idea of a hugging shawl, a long and narrow shawl, knitted with the softest yarn, using the most generous and amazing array of colours! A lot of extra work has gone into the knitting, for she chose to use many many rows of coloured yarn.


The many colors that make up my hugging shawl symbolize a life full of diverse and rich experiences, challenges, and moments of joy and sorrow. For me the multitude of coloured yarns is symbolic of the rich spiritual experiences that I have been blessed by in this community. It is comforting, beyond my ability to express in any language, to know that there are so many people of faith, from so many different faith expressions, lifting me and my family in prayer, as we go thorough this challenge.


So, now, when it is time for a hug, or two, we can use my hugging shawl to wrap me in love and prayer and concern. Thank you, Katharine, for such a compassionate and loving gift!


An expression that is constantly on my lips is "God have mercy". I first learned it as a child, in church, but later I grew used to hearing my mother-in-law saying it. Mercy is not something that is necessarily earned by my efforts. To me, mercy is a gracious gift from my creator. I ask for it, I need it, I count on it, but I cannot ask for it by any measure. I cannot give God a shopping list. When I ask for mercy, I am leaving myself open to God's grace, in whatever measure. 


My mother's name was Clemencia, which means mercy in Spanish. And so my new, colourful, full-of-love hugging shawl has a name. Her name is Clemencia. And we will see you around, with Clemencia the hugging shawl, on the way to Santiago!