Reflections of a planetary pilgrim

Some time ago I walked every day for a month, to arrive at the church of Santiago de Compostela, in Spain. Compostela has attracted pilgrims for many centuries. It had been my dream to do this for many years. When I was able to set off on this pilgrimage, many factors came together for me to embark upon this adventure. Since that time I have been engaged in discovering what pilgrimage means for me in my daily life.


While walking, I discovered that the experience of pilgrimage is not so much getting to the goal, as it is moving toward it. It is in the daily getting up, gearing up, setting off, and walking toward a goal that one measures up. One may never reach the goal. Or, after getting "there" one may feel let down, disappointed. In Santiago, I saw many pilgrims who looked lost upon arrival: "now what?" they seemed to be asking.


Pilgrimage has become, for me, a metaphor for life. Since returning to my daily living, I have tried to live a life of pilgrimage. I set off on new adventures, went back to school, retired, began work as a chaplain, discovered the joys of getting married again. Each new adventure has become part of my spiritual journey, and I have cultivated an attitude of "engagement" with the world, rather than detachment from it.


One week ago I discovered a lump in my left breast. "Hello", I said, "what are you doing there, and who let you in?" Before I had time to think much about this uninvited guest, I had enrolled in the Ontario Breast Screening Program (www.cancercare.on.ca/obsp), had had a mammogram, an ultrasound test, and had been given an appointment with a surgeon for a surgical consultation.


I am now waiting to meet with my surgeon. I am trying not to get carried away. I am continuing to think that so far all I know is that I have a lump on my left breast. This waiting time is not as much fun as chewing aluminium foil is, but I am managing. So far I am sleeping well, and have kept focused on positive thoughts. Good family connections - my husband, my 2 children, my sisters and nieces know what is going on. Good people at work and church - my colleagues and my pastor know and are supportive and engaged with me as I move through this adventure. And my best friend knows.


Is this a new kind of pilgrimage? Am I setting off toward a goal? Will the actual pilgrimage experience consist of the "walking toward" rather than the "getting there"? I think so. This is a pilgrimage, no different than walking to Santiago, or moving toward the Ganges River.


Along the way to Santiago, I often found little messages, written by other pilgrims who had passed that way before me. Some were notes placed under a rock. Some times I found a small cross woven into a wire fence. Grafitti notes were often the medium of choice. I frequently saw small pebbles, arranged in the shape of an arrow, pointing toward Santiago. These messages seemed to be saying: "I was here. Keep going, you will get there"


I am starting this occasional blog as my way of affirming that I have been here. I am moving, in the spirit of Santiago de Compostela, toward a goal. Getting there is not so important as the task of going. I invite you to pick up your own walking stick, and taking on your own backpack - whatever you carry - walk with me from time to time.


It is time I got going - and I will see you around, on the road to Santiago.