Yesterday I went to Vincenzo's (www.vincenzosonline.com). Our family has followed the Vincenzo's brand since the little store was called Italian Canadian Foods, on Bridgeport Rd. in Waterloo.
These days, my appetite has diminished, and there are few things that I enjoy. Nevertheless, I love going to Vincenzo's. I enjoy having a latte there, and I often find things to bring home to try to deceive myself into eating something.
Having cancer and receiving chemotherapy can sometimes take over your life and your entire imagination. I learned a wonderful lesson in reality yesterday: I fell at Vincenzo's. Out of the blue, my feet got tangled and I fell like a log, flat, hitting my face on the floor, my hat and glasses flying off onto the hard concrete floor, my knee stinging from a scrape.
David and many other people came to my help. Was I hurt? Was I sure? I was advised not to be so eager to walk away. No, I was not hurt, though my scrape is still stinging and my knee hurts a bit. Only my pride was hurt.
My first thought as I fell hard onto the floor was "Oh, my God, how is this going to affect my condition?" As I got up and struggled to redeem my injured pride, I felt grateful for the ordinary, common experience of tripping over my feet and falling. And recovering! I was grateful to recognize that having chemotherapy does not mean that I am a china doll, breakable and super fragile. I am not broken! I am an older lady, who tripped over her shoes and was not paying attention. It may also be that the medication I am taking for nerve pain (a side effect of the taxol being injected as part of my chemo treatments) made me less alert. After all, I am not allowed to drive when I take it -- perhaps I should not drive the grocery cart, either!!!
I also fell once on the way to Santiago, nearing the village of Rabanal. People came out to meet me, carried my backpack to the pilgrims' shelter, and gave me priority in the line-up. I was just an older lady who tripped over her boots, and did not look where she was going.
I learned to take it easier yesterday. I am having chemo, I will have to live with this dreaded taxol for two more treatments, I will have a month of radiation, I am tired, I do feel pain, my appetite is not good, things taste like excreta, but I am not a broken, fragile china doll. I am a planetary pilgrim, walking toward healing. And we will surely meet again, on the road to Santiago!
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3 comments:
In the words of Winston Churchill "If you are going through hell ... keep going". Keep going my friend, you are getting there - even if you trip and fall along the way! I'm glad that you weren't badly hurt. There are certainly worse places to end up on the floor than Vincenzo's!
Opra Winfrey:
I chose to rise up out of the storm and see that in moments of desperation, fear and helplessness, each of us can be a rainbow of hope, doing what we can to extend ourselves in kindness and grace to one another - and I know for sure that there is no "them" - there's only us."
Myrta: You are not alone and this moment ties you even closer to all of us!
Glad you're OK from the fall. Vincenzo's has the most amazing pasta! Little bowties in multi colors, others the color of licorce and jellybeans. Sure to perk up your appetite and not too strong. I'm making the bowties with pesto tomorrow.
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